Retrograde Rambling: Approaching The Venus Shadow

Upon realizing that Venus enters her pre-retrograde shadow this Sunday, going full force retrograde on October 5th; I feel compelled to share what I’ve been experiencing in my own life as of lately. Venus has been in the sign of Libra, which she rules (along with Taurus). Being a Libra Ascendant myself, Venus is my chart ruler and I currently have Venus passing through my first house. Venus enters Scorpio on September 9th and will remain until being 11 degrees into the sign. When October 5th approaches, Venus in Scorpio will count down the degrees as Venus goes retrograde, and will even go back into the last degrees of Libra.

I’ve come to a lot of realizations lately. Maybe it’s a combination of embracing my 30’s and beginning to know I do not need validation from society, wanting to face my traumas from my entire life up until this point, and just feeling sick and tired of allowing my own power to be taken from me to the point of zapping all of my entire sources of energy. I’ve had anger issues over my own traumatic life experiences. I speak in past tense of that despite being a bit skeptical of the concept of the ‘law of attraction’, yet I am now willingly glaring at this shadow segment of me in the face and I’m ready to accept who I am, why I am this way, and how to respond more to life circumstances like a decent human being… Not like a wounded, defensive savage. Make no mistake, I am not a victim. I do not want nor need your pity.

Traumatic experiences can be, and are different for everyone. Nobody experiences the exact situation in the exact way. You process and perceive life events different from myself, or any other human being for that matter. What might be a traumatic experience for you could be something to easily brush off to somebody else, and vice versa. That’s where judgement comes in, and the need to guilt ourselves into the thief of joy known as comparison. Our brain is an incredibly complex organ, and yet I have the audacity to feel guilt for how my own bodily functions processed this or that event. Environment plays a part, bodily chemistry plays a part, upbringings and family karma do as well as numerous other factors.

Bare with me as again, I jump all over the place. It’s in the middle of the night and despite that lame attempt there to blame the time of day, it’s always how I roll regardless. Venus is the planet of love, beauty, money and value. So when Venus goes retrograde, it’s a time to exercise some extra attention to detail in these areas of our lives. Retrogrades are a time to literally slow down and reflect and recalibrate; it is never a time to act impulsively. It’s kicking off in the sign of Scorpio. Venus in Scorpio is all encompassing intensity, and this sign doesn’t fuck around. If you’ve been lying in relationships, you’re going to be busted once this retrograde kicks off. Scorpio is the private investigator of the zodiac, and you can’t fool them. A Scorpio can see right through your lies. Where value and worth are concerned, Venus in Scorpio will also bring its intensity. You aren’t going to get much accomplished during this retrograde if you aren’t willing to dive deep and face those shadows within yourself. Staring yourself in the eye and acknowledging your great attributes as well as your flaws that need work. Admitting to yourself that being a human means perfection does not exist, and we all fuck up sometimes. Including me. Including you. Willingness is needed to make the acceptance and then amendments if we so choose.

In my personal birth chart, I have natal Pluto and the arabic part called the Part of Fortune in Scorpio in my second house. The second house is ruled by Taurus and represents inner and outer worth, material matters, and money. Financial stability has been a little bit of a struggle for the last few years, but even more importantly, my own self-worth (while it has been steadily improving) too. The self-worth issues have actually been with me for majority of my life. I see this retrograde as a blessing and it hasn’t even arrived yet. I feel like I’ve already begun to feel the shadow affects. I’m facing my anger and resentments. I’m so ready to let go and embrace the possibility of living, breathing, and just being easier with embracing the feeling of content.

How do you know what areas will be highlighted for you? You’d need to look at your birth chart and your current transits to see what aspects are being made as well as what houses are involved (I can assist with this).

When the retrograde leaves Scorpio and once again enters Libra, we will still be dealing with these matters yet in a bit of a lighter way. The heaviness lifts a bit, but we still have work to do.

As always, there will be some frustrating days with Venus retrograde. It wouldn’t be a retrograde if it didn’t piss us off a little, right? All jokes aside, it’s only sending the aggravations our way in order to give us the opportunity to grow. Venus in Scorpio will oppose Uranus in Taurus on October 31st, with both planets still retrograde. This will be a bit of a curve ball thrown at us. It may make us lose balance temporarily, we may fall off the horse. That’s okay, as long as you hop back on and continue to fight the good fight. This is just a test, the universe wants to know who is truly serious about; and just how badly we want to resolve our lives. All I know is, after all of the shit I’ve been through both my own fault and clearly not at all, I am ready. And it’s about time I woke up.

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